How to Respond to The fact That They Have Decided There Will Be No Grandchildren In Your Future

PsrrotPhoto by Bob Klammer

Tell them you’re writing a “Won’t.”

and your money is going to UNICEF.

Better yet, don’t mention your will.


Avoid conversations of generations

until Thanksgiving

and Christmas.


At Thanksgiving say long graces.

Mention the grandchildren

you don’t have.


By name.  Long names.

Like Honorificabilitudinitatibus

Augustina Cleopatera Therese Marianne the Third or



At Christmas tell them you are only

giving gifts to the grandkids this year.


Discuss your favorite bird,

a loyal Blue Jay.

Mention how, year after year,


she returns in spring

to raise her young

in a giant Linden tree


near your doorstep.

Bring up the fact

that you will soon buy a parrot.


Tell them you’re

planning to celebrate

your death


while you’re still living,

watching as your valuables

are buried at sea.


Not parents, they are unaware

that you have already

lived three lives:


A long one to nurture them,

a longer one to provide for them,

and the longest one keeping your dreams intact.


The art of nurturing

has become second nature.

It is time to adopt a new puppy.


~ by dianeklammer on August 17, 2013.

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